Can true love be bought, or are material gifts just a smokescreen for deeper issues? Join us as we unravel the tangled web of trust, betrayal, and redemption in our latest emotional episode of Raising Rich. After uncovering potential infidelity for a second time, Jo is caught in a storm of conflicting emotions & hard-hitting realities. Despite Mr.B's reassurances & a tense dinner with the woman in question, Jo's insecurities soar upon discovering Mr.B's history of infidelity.
And then comes the Mercedes Benz—a lavish gift that seems more like a bribe than a heartfelt gesture. Is his generosity a desperate attempt to buy Jo's silence & loyalty? Reflecting on past patterns of being swayed by such grandiose gestures, we confront the gnawing dilemma: should she stay or should she go?
But amidst the turmoil, rays of hope break through the clouds. An unexpected engagement ring brings a wave of joy and a glimpse of a brighter future. Sharing the news & making it 'Facebook official', Jo & Mr. B bask in the outpouring of support from friends & family.
This episode is not just about the trials of love but also celebrates our triumphs, like selling a house for a significant profit & toasting to new beginnings. Through candid reflections, laughter, & heartfelt stories, we paint a vivid picture of our journey from past struggles to newfound happiness, balancing personal concerns with public perceptions. Tune in for an unfiltered conversation that will leave you questioning the true value of love & trust.
Follow our mother daughter journey towards financial freedom!
Can true love be bought, or are material gifts just a smokescreen for deeper issues? Join us as we unravel the tangled web of trust, betrayal, and redemption in our latest emotional episode of Raising Rich. After uncovering potential infidelity for a second time, Jo is caught in a storm of conflicting emotions & hard-hitting realities. Despite Mr.B's reassurances & a tense dinner with the woman in question, Jo's insecurities soar upon discovering Mr.B's history of infidelity.
And then comes the Mercedes Benz—a lavish gift that seems more like a bribe than a heartfelt gesture. Is his generosity a desperate attempt to buy Jo's silence & loyalty? Reflecting on past patterns of being swayed by such grandiose gestures, we confront the gnawing dilemma: should she stay or should she go?
But amidst the turmoil, rays of hope break through the clouds. An unexpected engagement ring brings a wave of joy and a glimpse of a brighter future. Sharing the news & making it 'Facebook official', Jo & Mr. B bask in the outpouring of support from friends & family.
This episode is not just about the trials of love but also celebrates our triumphs, like selling a house for a significant profit & toasting to new beginnings. Through candid reflections, laughter, & heartfelt stories, we paint a vivid picture of our journey from past struggles to newfound happiness, balancing personal concerns with public perceptions. Tune in for an unfiltered conversation that will leave you questioning the true value of love & trust.
Follow our mother daughter journey towards financial freedom!
Hey Mamas, welcome to the Raising Rich Podcast with your favourite mother-daughter duo, Jo and Lane. Join us as we take you on the rollercoaster ride that has been my mum's life with money.
Speaker 2:
Yes, I'll be opening up about the taboo topic of money from bankruptcy to a six-figure income and all the heartache in between. So if you're a single mumma out there trying to figure it all out, then this podcast is for you. Join us for all the ups and all the downs on Raising Rich.
Speaker 1:
It is episode 11 of the Raising Rich podcast. Welcome to the couch, welcome mum Hi. So the last last episode. We left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger. You had just found out that your partner essentially man you've been in a relationship for over a year now has most likely been lying to you hooking up with another lady on the side after renovating your house and once again finding text messages that suggest he is not in a relationship.
Speaker 2:
Remember, he's done that once before. But I'm in this conundrum where I'm living a lifestyle with a man who I adore and I have to. Well, I don't have to. Sorry, I'm not going to say I have to. I keep overlooking all of these indiscretions because, realistically, I don't have hard evidence. He tells me he's not seeing anybody, he's not doing anything behind my back. I have to make that choice. Do I believe him, do I move forward with him, or do I go with my gut and I decide to stay with my heart and I continue the relationship.
Speaker 1:
I think also that internal monologue that's going in your head as well, of like, oh my gosh, I've got everything that I want essentially out of this relationship and this man and I. Am I willing to throw it all away over a text message that doesn't really, as you say, have hard proof, hard evidence?
Speaker 2:
He tells me that she is a longtime family friend and that they have been friends for over 30 years and he would like us to go out for dinner so that I can meet her and rest assured that they are just friends. Interesting spin.
Speaker 2:
I guess we go out for dinner and she is everything that I am nervous about. Yeah, because he had always said to me that he would like me to be a little bit thinner, um, have carry a little less weight. And she was tiny. She was teeny tiny. And, oh no, she didn't order an entree, she just had the steamed fish thing.
Speaker 2:
You with the side salad, not me, I had the garlic bread, the garlic prawns, you're like the entree of scallops, the, the steak, the chicken and the eggs for and the dessert, just like the full scene from my chicks perhaps the salad perhaps not?
Speaker 2:
no so I was immediately taken aback. I I was very stressed. I thought, oh, this, this woman, is what he is looking for. Yeah, we have the dinner, we go home. He assures me that they are just friends and I guess I have to accept that. But what he does offer is another little nugget into his life.
Speaker 2:
I had said to him that evening that I wanted to book a helicopter ride for his birthday and he had said he'd already been on one. And I was like, oh, have you? You know, because this surprised me and for me, a helicopter ride was really expensive for me to save for that. But I wanted to show him that I trusted him and that I loved him and that I was willing to save and put some money aside and take him on a helicopter ride. He told me that he'd already been on one and I probed him who with who, with thinking he would say his ex-wife, and he admitted that he had been in a long-term relationship with somebody else behind his wife's back. Ooh, according to him, it was just simply because they the there was not much marital connection, right? So he had been seeing this other person. Mind you, this is not the same person.
Speaker 1:
This is not dot steve it's not dot steve and it's not the friend of 30 years.
Speaker 2:
I don't think so. I was led to believe it was not okay. So there you go. Okay, I am left again wondering do I go with my head or my heart? I continue the relationship. I'd previously spoken to mr b about purchasing a car. I was thinking that I needed to upgrade the model that I had. It was quite old and we'd been out to have a look at a few cars and I was going to buy another Honda. I'd always been happy with mine and you know I had the Honda Jazz, then I had the Honda Accord, which I still have depressingly.
Speaker 2:
And he then rang me and said I want you to come to this auction house, so go to the auction house. And I said what are we doing here? He has picked out a Mercedes Benz and I said to him well, I can't afford that. And his response was no, I'm, I'm going to get it for you. And I was saying well, do I need to trade in my car? What do I need to do? And he was like no, no, that's fine, this is my gift to you. I often wonder if that was a trade-off do you think it was a trade-off?
Speaker 1:
I think it definitely was a trade-off. Yeah, it's like it's like kind of like a repeat pattern you know the whole. Oh, the dog, the dog, the dog the tv as well oh, yes, you know you were getting on a boat to say peace out, girl scout. Yeah, and you come back to a fresh new tv on your wall. Yeah and yeah again and then dot steve.
Speaker 2:
Dot steve gets me the dog, dot steve gets you dot pip. And then this person gets me the Mercedes you know he is obviously this. He is generous. Is he generous or is he? I mean, now that I look back at it was I being bought.
Speaker 1:
I think that you were being bought, but I also think that that's how his perception of relationships are with everyone. Right? Oh, absolutely yes, and that clearly happened. Yes, later on, yeah, how his perception of relationships are with everyone right?
Speaker 2:
oh, absolutely, oh, yes, and and that clearly happened, yes, later on, yeah, there are good things about this man, and I keep trying to sugarcoat all the other things that I know in my gut are not right, but a lot of those decisions came from money, yeah, and I don't know if I should be embarrassed to say that, and I'm not embarrassed simply because I do know that I had genuine feelings for him. I really I loved him, I fell in love with him, and there were times in our relationship where I was convinced that it was just us too. Yeah, and um, I adored that about him. Yeah, living in the renovated house.
Speaker 2:
I never told anybody, but I was struggling to make the repayments.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we had an interest rate rise and another interest rate rise, and they were things that I didn't account for, and so, even though I was still teaching dancing, I was working at a school, I was working at the football club, I didn't really realize that I couldn't afford this house.
Speaker 2:
So, even though I'd put a nice deposit and I'd paid for the renovations, I was struggling and I was almost drowning, yeah, so it wasn't a nice feeling. I wasn't going to admit it to anyone. However, not long after I'd been in the house about a year and a half I think and I was staying a lot at Mr B's and Mr B was staying a lot with me, not long after I'd been in the house about a year and a half I think and I was staying a lot at Mr B's and Mr B was staying a lot with me and we were going out for a really nice night out on the town. He had been very stressed at work and I rang him and I said I'm going to organize, you know, a lovely dinner. I'm going to organize, you know, a lovely dinner.
Speaker 2:
Maybe, we'll stay at Crown and we'll, you know, just enjoy each other's company. I drove over to his house I made sure I looked beautiful, of course, and we were in the car driving and he said how much do you love me? And I said 99.9%, I love me. And I said 99.9 I love you, I adore you. And he said well, what about the 0.1? And I said, oh, there's always room for a little bit of improvement. What have you got to show me for improvement? And he reached into the glove box and pulled out a massive diamond ring bling, bling, bling, bling.
Speaker 1:
That's one way to propose, I guess.
Speaker 2:
Well, yes, and we had. We had looked at some rings a couple of weeks earlier, but I wasn't really sure where that was going. He just said, oh, I'd like to buy you a ring. And we had a look at a couple and it was just like, oh okay, you know, this was a bit of a surprise to me, so do you feel like I mean, maybe looking back now and do you feel like it actually wasn't an engagement ring or was it.
Speaker 2:
When he gave it to me, I said oh, which hand am I putting it on, this hand or this hand? And he said well, you can put it on that hand being my engagement. And I said are we getting married? And he said well, eventually. Okay, so I took that, as I took a photo within 3.2 seconds and uploaded it to facebook because I remember getting a phone call for you from you.
Speaker 1:
I think you were still in the car at that point and you. I think you had told me that there was that kind of ring yeah and I cried and I was very excited for you and, yes, you guys had been together for a while at that point. Yes, and from my perspective, I didn't know any of this stuff that was going on in the background.
Speaker 1:
So it's not something that you share exactly and from an outsider looking in, you know I'm, I'm what. 21 at this point, maybe 22, can't remember. So I was very ecstatic for you because I also know that witnessing you go through your divorce with your second husband to now being with someone that it seemed like you guys were genuinely happy made me very happy. So, yeah, I do remember that.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and a lot of people were happy for us. A lot of people rang us straight away and congratulated us. We, as I said, I didn't share those things about my concerns because I feel when you have problems within your relationship, you keep them within yourself and it's not something that you share. If you can work through it, you don't necessarily need to share it with other people. That's just my perspective and I didn't want people to look differently upon him. You know, everybody comes to a relationship with baggage or Everyone has issues, of course.
Speaker 1:
Course. I'm just saying that like it's not that I it's not that I don't disagree with you. I do think that there is also a bit of healthy justification in being able to talk to other people about these sorts of things. Not necessarily have to be friends or family or know the person that you're in a relationship with, but I still think that it's important to have someone that can be a respective sounding board and be like hey, you know, maybe this is a red flag, or you know, maybe you are overthinking it, or whatever the case might be. But each to their own. If you don't want to voice your opinions about your relationship to other people because, like you said, you don't want it to to change the dynamic and you don't want other people to look at him or them in a different light, then I get that as well.
Speaker 1:
I wanted us to appear to be perfect. Exactly. Yeah, and that's another element of it as well. That falls into a whole other kettle of fish about other people's perceptions of of you.
Speaker 2:
I'd had two broken marriages. I didn't want to have another broken relationship. I wanted everything to seem like it was perfect. And that night was besides having children was the absolute happiest night of my entire life. I cannot tell you how happy over excited, fulfilled yeah what's the blissful. I can't even tell you how I felt. I remember sitting next to him at the bar at nobu and just thinking I was the luckiest person in the world and I had a great night that night we had.
Speaker 2:
We had lots of drinks. We enjoyed each other's company. It was spectacular.
Speaker 1:
It's an elevated and elated version of what you were already enjoying.
Speaker 2:
Yes. So from there, that was like a promise of a new life. I had started making plans. Wow, we are going to be living together because we're getting married. You know, I'm doing the whole. When's our engagement party? Where are we gonna live? Let's buy a house where are we?
Speaker 2:
honeymooning. I had it all worked out. It was like I was going to relive, you know um, my 17 year old dream wedding self. You know, 3.2 kids and all that kind of stuff. So I've already got it in the plans. I decide to sell the house in glen waverley because I'm thinking my two older children have. They're now finishing high school. I've just got the younger one. She has been accepted into a school in the city. Why not? I sell this beautiful home and we buy a house together. Let's put our money in together. Well, mr b says oh well, maybe we'll just rent for a while, we'll see what happens. But anyway, I put the house up for sale.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you did yeah, I did, do you remember?
Speaker 1:
that day, I do, we had some beautiful champagne. We did, we had, we that you poured into wine glasses instead of champagne glasses I uh not a wine drinker nor, at the time, a champagne drinker. I was straight up like jaeger bombs and whatever else my 21 year old little hands could get a hold of?
Speaker 2:
oh no. Vodka cruises, oh no. What were the recorder leagues?
Speaker 1:
oh yeah, I loved it. I'd love to record a league cider, yeah, anyway, besides the point, I remember we were sitting in the front lounge room of the of the house hearing the auction happen out the front, and we heard that it was going for over a million dollars.
Speaker 1:
And that's when we popped the bottle of molly yes because it was a testament, I think, to how hard that you had worked from going from that baronia house to this place to renovating it, to then sell it, for at that point in time was was a lot of money well, if you consider, two years earlier I had paid 560.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I'd spent 160 on the reno, okay, so that's 720 and I've sold it for 1.1 mil. Yeah, like, and that was a record they said for that area and that's a testament to mr b's construction and my, my planning of the property the furnishing, the design.
Speaker 2:
I'm quite creative in that respect, but that was phenomenal. I was walking away with the sale of a house of $1.1 million as a single mother. How many years ago was that now 2014,? Was it for 10 years ago? 10 years ago, to sell a house for that? I mean, that's a lot for a single mom. Yeah, and you know that was going to set myself and mr b up.
Speaker 2:
So mr b and I start looking for houses to rent because he doesn't want to buy something just yet. He's not sure what area he'd like to live in. So we set out, we look at maps, we look at where the youngest one has to go to school. So that's in South bank and he works over in the Western suburbs. So we're just trying to we don't want to be too far away from his child. We're trying to work out what area we would like to be in. So we decide we're going to rent for some time. He does offer the house where he's living for us to move into and get a driver to drive the youngest one into school every day. But but because the school was a very long day it was 8am to 6pm, it was a specialist school for musicians, it was just too much. So it was best that we stay close by to where she had to go to school and that we were going to rent somewhere. The unfortunate thing was we really couldn't find anything.
Speaker 1:
Do you feel that it was collectively like the two of you couldn't find anything, or were you providing some ideas and some suggestions and just whatever you suggested wasn't hitting the mark for him exactly?
Speaker 2:
everything I suggested wasn't hitting the. He always found something wrong until we did actually find something and we did apply. He, he did encourage me. He was I remember he was sitting next to me and he was like, oh, you just do all the paperwork. You do all the paperwork, and I'm, you know, fluffing around trying to do it all and I said look, I need your signature. And he goes oh, you just sign it, sign it on my behalf. So I put P E R, meaning per, and I write his name and we, we apply. We don't hear anything back. So it's like, well, what's going on? So we ring and they say, oh, we don't have your application. So I found that that was a bit strange. Anyway, I didn't think much more of it. Couldn't find any other housing. So he suggests how about you find something just for you and the little one, and we will stay there during the week and on the weekend, so we'll go between my house and the apartment in the city? Yeah, and that seems reasonable to me.
Speaker 1:
And it seemed to work as well. I mean, you guys are already in this kind of I don't want to say it's a weird relationship, but you have different schedules, different commitments. Like I said, he's got a child, you've got children, you've got adult children Well, not necessarily adult, but young adult children. At this stage, you know you're still working all of these different jobs. He's a very busy man working in construction, so the absence of time doesn't really play into this.
Speaker 2:
And, funnily enough, after moving into the city, he convinces me to leave my full-time job. Yes, he convinces me that it's taking up too much of my time. He wants me just to be more available for him, and I do so. I I quit the football club job, I quit the dancing job, I quit my full-time job and I'm just looking to work. You know, a little bit of part-time work and I do a little bit of part-time stuff for him, and everything seems, you know, kind of cute and hunky-dory. I'm now living in an apartment in the city, I'm loving my life and I have the Mercedes that I'm driving around in. He's essentially paying for almost all of my rent, he's paying for my groceries, he's paying for my gym membership and the youngest daughter's gym membership, so and I've got a credit card I'm paying for petrol and he's paying for dinners.
Speaker 2:
And when you guys are going out and you're shopping, yes, buying, you know, new clothes, new shoes, new whatever. And I've just got this little part-time job, couple days a week, uh, in a little cafe and doing a little bit of work for him, as I said, and I'm just really loving life, yeah, as any woman would, yeah, so that's kind of where we're going to wrap up. I've enjoyed, you know, renovating a house, selling it for a record price. I'm now just looking forward to the second part of our life together, you know, once we can start looking for a house and, you know, having a normal life together and obviously planning your engagement party and your wedding and things like that so we had an amazing engagement party.
Speaker 2:
We had, uh, 140 odd guests and we enjoyed it at a ballroom dance studio. It was, you know, perfect fun. We both still had dancing lessons together. So we had done that. And you know, the lady who was the longtime friend because I thought she was a longtime friend I was like where's their invitation? Are they coming? You know, because I'd been convinced they were just long-time friends.
Speaker 2:
He said that he didn't know her address, but yet they'd been friends for 30 years odd. Anyway, she got a last minute invitation somehow. I don't know how did she come she? Did. She came at the last minute with the husband and yeah I I didn't think much more of it. We had the engagement party. I was just looking forward to designing my new life with my new fiance and that was kind of it amazing.
Speaker 2:
And what's on for episode number 12 well, I get a bit bored, just sort of sitting around doing a little bit of part-time work for him, a little bit of part-time work in a cafe, yeah. So I get bored and I've got, uh, all my money from the sale of my house just sitting there, mr b, you know we're not moving forward in terms of buying a house. So, yeah, I get bored.
Speaker 1:
That's in the next episode that sounds like a boring one, but it's not. We'll see you in the next episode thanks, guys, bye.
Speaker 2:
Thanks for listening to this episode of Raising Rich. If any of today's episode has resonated with you, we'd love for you to share it with another mama. It really helps us to connect with the right women.
Speaker 1:
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